Hello Again

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It’s been quite some time since I’ve written a blog post here! But it has been on my heart to pop back over here and say a little something. I’ve missed the community here, and think of you often, but there are a few reasons I haven’t been so active on this blog any longer. They are not necessarily the generic reasons one might expect, like writer’s block or being too busy or too ill. It’s true that I’ve been very sick, and that it interferes with writing just as well as the rest of life, making it difficult and painful. As my fellow spoonie Meg said, “I want to be able to do a lot, desperately so, but I live in a body that’s temperamental and if we’re going to be frank; a body that can’t really handle commitment.” It is challenging to write with M.E., let alone on a schedule like bloggers are expected to. But writing is one of the beautiful gifts that allow me to process living each day with such severe illness. It’s something that I love and enjoy. I’m always writing, even if I’m not sharing it. And so, I can’t simply give a reason like this for my absence. Truthfully, it’s been more of a matter of reflecting, of introspection, of observing.

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Another Side of Growth {Through Chronic Illness}

This week, I’ve happened across two posts from some very sweet bloggers, Kaylie and Kelly. Although the content of their posts were not meant to be connected, they came together as one very tender thought deep in my heart. Kaylie shared a powerful yet graceful call to people in their twenties to live intentionally. Kelly shared a tender confession via vlog of how painful it is to be chronically ill and unable to live out ambitions, laced with beautiful hope that our worth is so much more than our productivity. In their contrast, one ached over the burden of able-bodied young men and women who live immaturely and wastefully, and one ached over the burden of physically incapable young men and women who are spiritually and emotionally mature as well as very driven, but physically limited. Their words stirred up the question so familiar to anyone young with a severe chronic illness, “Why is it that we cannot do what we’d love to do, yet others waste the energy we would so dearly treasure?” There’s so many sayings out there that tell me others have faced similar questions. “Life is not fair”, an expression that can be both cold or caring depending on the tone. “Life is not a wish-granting factory”, Augustus Waters painfully says in The Fault in our Stars. And we know these things to be true, but they do not satisfy the aching question deep within. As I pondered the question, opening my heart to Christ’s companionship through the aching, a simplicity washed over my heart reminding me of what it truly means to grow, mature, and live independently — something truly nourishing to reflect on.

The truth is, we have so many opportunities to grow into adulthood, even with the physical limitations and tremendous pain. Some of the most important parts of being an adult are the things that come within. It’s the drive that matters, at the end of the day. Anyone of reasonable age can accomplish physical tasks. It’s something that can be done almost automatically. But truly growing into an adult, embracing the person you are, and living intentionally — that’s something that takes work. And the good news is, it’s work that we can do!

Quite a few things spilled into my mind last night. The more I thought about it, the more that kept flooding in! Continue reading

10 Spoonie-Themed Gifts for The Holiday Season

I thought I’d put together a little something for those of you who are shopping for a spoonie this holiday season (or those of you who want to treat yourself to a little spoonie something!) It’s all in good fun! Here are a few spoonie themed gifts I’ve stumbled across 🙂

P.S. If you are wondering what the term “spoonie” means or where it came from, please check out “The Spoon Theory”

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Hope and a Future {Coffee for Your Heart}

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Today Holley’s Coffee for Your Heart writing prompt was about encouragement that our hearts need to hear. It’s so sweet and so special to me that as I sat to write a post about hope for a future, Holley’s post was on the very same thing. With such special timing I can’t help but pause and savor the sweetness of the moments God reminds us we never walk alone.

Today I’m reminded that we must fight to keep our eyes before us, always waiting with a gracious hope that believes in the light even when it only flickers from a distance. Today I’m reminded that we must look to the horizon instead of the raging waters. There is a bright future beyond a gloomy place; there is a hope beyond this aching. It’s easy to believe that things will always be this way, but today is fresh and new and leading us to a place that once again blossoms. Today may look an awful lot like yesterday, but it’s brand new and even if it frightens us to the core, we can bravely look at the day unfolding and say with faith, This is the day that the Lord has made, and I believe He will fill it with the wonders of His love.
He draws near to us with tenderness and compassion, in the aching and in the unfolding. Though we may not see how, there is a future full of hope and full of love unfolding for us day by day. May we find the courage to believe this today and always.

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To The Ones That Inspire {Coffee For Your Heart}

This week Holley shared a writing prompt for a post on who inspires her readers most. While Holley is certainly high on my list, I thought this would be a very lovely opportunity to share a post about some of my dear friends and partners through the battle of illness. They inspire me every day with their brave and tender hearts.

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Kathryn is easy to write love letters about. She’s faithful and silly and sweet and gracious and kind. She’s the kind of person who can send you a card or a text at just the right time with just the right words, so perfectly warm and timely that it feels like she just gave your heart a big, warm hug, even if she’s miles and miles away. She’s spunky but in the sweetest and softest of ways. Her spirit is so faithful, kind, cheerful, and upbeat despite overwhelming pain. I wholeheartedly adore her. Something she says that touches me and reiterates in my heart each day is, “The worse it gets, the greater the redemption will be.” No matter how much pain she faces, she finds a way to believe it will make the healing even sweeter. Her courage and bravery inspire me every day.

Kelly is so full of life that she glows with joy and kindness. Her smile is as bright as her love. She’s the kind of person who sparks smiles and warms hearts. Her faith is strong and her trust in God’s plan is radiantly clear! She’s authentic, honest, and genuine. Despite her battle with severe illnesses, she’s shared the little energy she has to spare with fellow sufferers. She shares her story through her blog and creates upbeat and encouraging videos on topics that sufferers struggle with, and she’s been completely transparent about the dark sides of chronic pain, too. That is something so brave to do. She even has a cute little Etsy shop where she sells her handmade heating-pad covers, key chains, spoons, and jars of hope. Kelly is a true inspiration for those around her. I’m so thankful to have crossed paths with such a beautiful soul.

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Fiona has such a faithful heart. She has devoted much to serving others despite her own trials with chronic illness. She is an administrator for a large online community group for Christians with Chronic Fatigue Syndrome. Although that is task enough, she also connects individually with other suffers and supports them in loving kindness. Experiencing this is truly touching. Reading Fiona’s words is so revitalizing. She shares encouragement in a very clear and trustworthy way. I admire her strength in staying true to Biblical roots and sharing empathy with those around her.

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{You can join in the Coffee For Your Heart fun at Holley’s site! Stop on by with the picture-link above 🙂 }

You’re Not Alone {Coffee For Your Heart}

Holley has the sweetest little link-up going on on her blog right now, it’s called Coffee For Your Heart. Every week, readers and bloggers and friends meet together sharing posts about a topic Holley picks to prompt us to write encouraging words to others. It’s magical to see people come together sharing encouragement, love, and kindness each week. This week, her Coffee For Your Heart topic is “You’re Not Alone”. It’s really a beautiful thing to talk about, something I don’t think we say so much as assume sometimes. “You’re not alone” can be one of those unspoken truths, whispered in the embrace of a loved one of the laughter of a friend or the smile of a family member. It’s even gently spoken in the wagging of a puppy’s tale. But it’s something we can forget to say to each other. This week I’m remembering just how far a thoughtful card, a call, and even an email from a loved one can go. There’s enough love in small gestures to brighten a gloomy day, to bring a smile to a face and to a heart, and to let someone know you’re along side them. It’s a gift to give and to receive such loving kindness. I think we’re made to share love, not just on special occasions but on Wednesdays, too. Holley asks us to write about what we need to hear when we feel alone. I think what we need to hear is sometimes unspoken. We need to hear laughter, a heaping mix of our own and a loved one’s. We need to hear songs that are brave enough to break the silence and sing about hope in the midst of pain. We need to hear the phone ring. We need to hear the doorbell ring. We need to hear the voices of loved ones. But there are words, too, and I think that they are this: We are more loved than we can understand by a God big and bold and beautiful enough to fill our every loneliness. He sees our emptiness and longs to flow through those places with eternal love. We are loved. We get stuck in moments and feel that they define us, that they tell us who we are and where we are going, but we are part of a bigger story. Hope is bigger than this moment. In time this aching will pass and when we look back we will remember the joy and love and friendship that traveled with us. It will shine brighter than the memories of pain. Gratitude will shape us. Redemption will win. We can rest knowing God holds not only our hearts, but our lives too. And while we are on this side of heaven, we are given a family. We are all in this human experience together. We’re here together on this roller-coaster ride of life. We all ache in the shadows of loneliness and we all beam with delight in the presence of love ones. We’re made to share life together. We’re not meant to strive for a life of independence; it hardens our hearts to our needs and the needs of those around us. We’re made to be sincere and tender and authentic, even to our neediness. We’re made to share. We’re made for the warmth of embraces and the jokes of friendship and the joy of companionship and the heart-healing grace of fellowship. We’re made to give and we’re made to receive. It’s okay to ask for help. Life isn’t something we’re meant to walk through alone. I pray that you won’t believe the lie that you should be tougher, that you should be able to experience life without aching in loneliness. Your tenderness and love are sweet treasures. They deserve to be met with love and light from God and others, and I pray that you will see that illuminating you each and every day. You’re not alone in this. There are people who feel the things you feel, they have empathy and compassion and tenderness for your wounds. Please don’t hide away in the shadows. There is sunshine for you, turn to its warmth.

He tends his flock like a shepherd:
He gathers the lambs in his arms
and carries them close to his heart;

~Isaiah 40:11

 

{If you are feeling alone and in need of support, InCourage Community Groups are hosting two online community groups for chronic illness, HOPE for Chronic Illness and Living With Chronic Illness. Take a peak! You never know what gift may come out of a special group. If you’d like to read Holley’s You’re Not Alone post, you can by clicking here.}

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Art in the Heart

Hello dear readers,

It has been such a sweet gift to connect with you over these last few months. I am so heart-warmed by this opportunity to share with you, and so thankful to get to know many of you throughout this time. Unfortunately, writing every week is beginning to be a bit too exhausting for my current state of health, so I am going to have to space things out just a bit longer. Will you join me every other Monday afternoon instead? I look forward to seeing you then 🙂

On this note {the note of having to set energy limits} I’d like to share some wise words with you that the dear Holley Gerth shared with me. They have been a treasure for me, and I hope they become the same for you. She said:

When you’re not writing or talking, you’re still actually in the writing process because you’re thinking and listening with your heart. So that time is really valuable.

It took me a long time to realize that when I’m putting words on paper it’s only one little piece of being a writer. Most of it happens quietly in my heart. So remind yourself that in the times when you can’t produce anything you’re still being very productive.

Is there a way this little quote is true for you today? Maybe there is some sort of art, some sort of purpose, some sort of dream in your heart that is growing and developing, even if you don’t always feel physically well enough to work on it. The beauty of growth and of art is simply that; it is honest and existent even in restful moments because it isn’t only achieved through manual labor. Sometimes attention, contemplation, imagination, and ideas are equally powerful (and certainly always equally beautiful). They lead us to places we couldn’t see or touch or even dream of otherwise. They help us reflect, release, and expand. Rest in this today, sweet friend, and I will do the same.

…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus. ~Philippians 1:6

What if the true artistic work is being fully ourselves in the presence of others?

What if the book, the painting, the meal, the presentation were all simply evidence of a deeper art happening within the soul of an artist?

Art is what happens when you dare to be who you really are. ~Emily Freeman

A Sprinkle of Quotes to Inspire You Today

  • Your present circumstances don’t determine where you can go; they merely determine where you start. ~Nido Qubein
  • Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do. ~John Wooden
  • If Jesus heals instantly, praise Him. If Jesus heals gradually, trust Him. When Jesus heals ultimately, you will understand. ~Max Lucado
  • Don’t deny the diagnosis. Try to defy the verdict. ~Norman Cousins
  • When life is sweet, say thank you and celebrate. And when life is bitter, say thank you and grow. ~Shauna Niequist
  • But here’s what I do know: even though you feel forgotten, you are not. Even though you feel broken, redemption is waiting. And even though you feel trapped, someday, you will be loosed from your chains. You deserve better, and you were made to love and be loved. ~Lauren | TWLOHA
  • Dear one, life is hard. Opposition is huge. Circumstances will inevitably happen in all our lives that will defy all discipline, determination, and conviction. Love keeps burning when everything else disintegrates in an ashen heap. Pray for this one thing more than you pray for your next breath. I am convinced love is everything. ~Beth Moore, The Beloved Disciple
  • True Recovery – God is coming. He has not abandoned us, and he never will. Yes, the pain of life is sometimes too intense to be borne. But when from that place we cry out to Jesus to save us, the heavens rejoice, the demons tremble in defeat, and the Holy Spirit who is closer than our skin transforms us. Jesus is inviting us to recover those parts of ourselves we have tried to hide or lop off in hopes of being more acceptable. God wants us to love him with all of our hearts. God has purchased all our freedom with his blood. Including the portions of our personalities we would like to change, the dreams long buried, and the wounds we have ignored. They are being kissed awake by the Holy Spirit. Come alive, my Beloved. Awaken. Remember. Jesus has come to heal us and restore us to himself, to others, and even to ourselves. ~Brooke Boon
  • So let your heart get quiet today. Breath deep and know you are where you’re supposed to be. You don’t have to validate your existence or your importance. God has already done so. And it’s in the quiet that you can best hear him say what your heart truly longs for most, what no other words or dream or accomplishment can ever replace… “Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness! — Jesus {Matt. 25:21}” ~Holley Gerth

When You Need A Little Courage to Share Your Struggles

I hope this week you are touched by the freedom of being honest about your struggles,

And feel the value in sharing your heart and all its beauty, vulnerability, and authenticity.

I hope your openness is met with genuine comfort, support, and acceptance from those dearest to you,

And you are offered listening ears and open arms and that your heart is greeted with the soft but powerful whisper,

“Your story is significant.”

I hope that whisper casts a ripple effect that reaches each part of your being, refreshing it with the truth of your worth.

I hope you feel no shame in your pain,

But feel the triumph of grace overwhelm even the shadowiest valleys of your soul.

For you may walk through the valley with no fear of danger, for He is with you.

I hope you find relief from the burden you’re carrying, and feel how honesty alleviates suffering.

Sometimes all it takes is a listening ear.

I pray we find the courage to be open, and the grace to meet others with the same compassion we wish for in return.

“For the Lord comforts His people and will have compassion on His afflicted ones.” ~Isaiah 49:13

When You Feel Lonely

As September unfolds and brings a new season, and the chill of Autumn begins to touch our towns,

I hope you find yourself warmed by the sweet embrace of loving company.

And if your days feel cold with loneliness and isolation, I pray that you will nestle into hope.

I hope you find a moment of courage to lift your eyes and your heart just a little higher, in order that you may see the loving heart of our Lord, outstretched for you.

I hope you’re reminded that our lonely times aren’t really barrenempty, untouched times but pruned ones.

I hope you’re reminded that there is a coming Love more abundant than any we can imagine,

A Home where He will wipe every tear from our eyes, and there will be no more death or sorrow or crying or pain (Revelation 21:4).

If we can lift our eyes and our hearts a little higher than our hurts, even for just a moment, and look into the face of our Savior, we can trust He will comfort us with His mercy and teach us of His harvest.

Our gracious Savior is with us, Our God who places the lonely in families (Psalm 68:6).

I pray you will let Him draw near and whisper healing truth into your aching heart.

There’s so much joy ahead, friends. There’s so much joy around.

I hope this Fall season leaves you with little reminders of how all seasons will be redeemed;

I hope you let your worries fall away like the leaves of the trees.

You will grieve, but your grief will suddenly turn to wonderful joy. It will be like a woman suffering the pains of labor. When her child is born, her anguish gives way to joy because she has brought a new baby into the world. So you have sorrow now, but I will see you again; then you will rejoice, and no one can rob you of that joy. ~John 16:20-22